Aging, Coyotes, Magic

Time passes and species migrate, or, if you’re a coyote, you colonize. Let us colonize culture, Cavedwellers. Let’s plant ourselves in places that need magic and enchantment and then make it happen.

As I move toward this activity please forgive some moments where I fail in the despair that inevitably rises as life slowly drains from my body.




Out of Dodge, Into Activation


When they fired me I quit.  I waved my middle finger in their eye and I said “Thanks work-job that I hated.  I’ll take it from here, and I did.  Now I’m self employed, have a manager, am painting regularly, producing work, and getting acting gigs.  Sounds great, doesn’t it?  All I had to do was say, “Never again, Consensus “Reality!” Reading “Valis” immediately following “Cosmic Trigger” may have influenced my decision.  Or maybe I just couldn’t take the boredom and condescension anymore.  Or maybe whenever I asked for help, people asked me,”Want do you want to do?” What I wanted to do was not have a job.

I want to never be strapped to someone else’s timetable of busywork.  I want to travel, fill in my debts, write, make videos and things (like my giant cardboard Millennium Falcon, made of recycled materials;

Model Millennium Falcon made of cardboard
Millennium Falcon waits for the bus
Model cardboard millennium falcon
Here it is on the studio floor
Cardboard Model of the millennium falcon on top of dumpster
Disposing of the Millennium Falcon the only appropriate way

or the comics that I keep starting and then procrastinating). I want to perform, make people laugh, and speak extemporaneously before large groups of people.  I want to explore the cosmos as a, don’t snigger, as a psychonaut,

Drawing of the Skräuss with a crown, eye in a triangle and 7 rayed Star
I fancy myself a magician, though really I’ve only achieved a few synchronicities that defy interpretation.

like Doctor Strange or King Mob.  I want to make T.V.-art like a talkshow, like a space show, like shows with puppets.  I have a script in the procrastination file about a special gorrilla suit and a hotel.  I have an idea for a Doctor Who fan film.  I want to do these creative endeavours.

I then look at the people that I have gone to for help and ideas of what I should apply for and say, “Nothing.  I don’t want to do anything.”  I have no idea what avenue to step down that will lead my feet to the paved visions of magic and creativity.  “I like people…” I offer tentatively.

“You keep saying that, but we’re not buying it,” one employment group said to me.  That was the last brick in my face that I will ever take.  I went home and just painted.  I’m done trying to appease these people.  I’m beginning to appease myself with the discipline of self employment, and it’s very rewarding.

A local podcast called me and offered me a paid position. A local talent agency called me and asked me to audition for a role called, “Indiana Jones Lookalike”, which is 1000% better than actually auditioning for Indiana Jones. I didn’t get the lookalike, but that’s fine, the next day I landed a role as an art professor.

And last night a knockout scientist delivered an answer to me (two days after shoaling a handful of sigils asking the question “what is my schtick?” That is: what is my message, my voice?) She told me that I should interview people because I’m good at drawing out people’s stories.  Ha! Purpose!  I’m still waiting to figure out the money part to begin flowing in, but I’m launching, Exponential Growth is occuring, it’s only a matter of time.

Sounds broke, don’t it?  “wait a minute,” you ask, “I thought it was coming up daisies not pushing up daisies.  You sound impoverished.”  In response I fix you with a steely eye and stiffen my back with a bit of the Wooster vigor and I quote, “Don’t curse a day of small beginnings.”   I don’t earn much, but I am eating and paying my bills.  I’m still just realigning.  I’m still only recalibrating, and so far the test drives look very promising, everything that I need comes to me.  When I finally get the hotrod out on the highway, look out Bonnaville Salt Flats drivers, The Millennium Chromatica is blowing past you.
You should join me Cavedweller. Let me know how your own jump to hyperspace progresses.